Counting the Ways That I Miss You
by AnonymouslyAddicted
Summary: Henry comes home from Pakistan. Finally.


**A/N** : This was supposed to be ready somewhere in the middle of the week. I kept promising myself that I will write when I get home after work. But that just never happened. Which is why I only got to finish it now, and I have no update for Sandcastles in the Sky just yet. Who knows, maybe this week I will actually be able to write. Anyway, this is fluff, and maybe a bit of angst, but for sure it's a huge mess. Sorry about that, my thoughts are all over the place at the moment. So anyway, don't want to make any promises, I just hope to get some more time to write, but for now that will have to do. Reviews are the sun in my sky, so pretty please?

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 **Counting the Ways that I Miss you**

She was pacing back and forth, moving from the top of the SUV's line to the end, and then back to the top again. Matt was following her, keeping his distance while making sure he could jump in if ever needed. He didn't ask any questions. Everyone at Andrews knew why she was pacing nervously. It was the second time she almost lost him, and it was beginning to be too much for her to handle. Sure, she knew he was okay. She saw him getting on that plane. She heard him when he reassured her that he was okay in his own way, in their own language. She also heard the silent promise he made her that he was going to keep a low profile for a while, for her sanity. And yet she was there, unable to quiet down her mind. Maybe it was the information about Dmitri that was keeping her on the edge, knowing she would have to tell Henry eventually, already calculating the outcome of such news. But more than anything it was the constant fear to never see him again, and after the uncertainty of the past 48 hours, she needed so badly to feel him – his skin, his breath, his beating heart. She needed to know that this was not some illusion, that he really did come back.

She let out a heavy breath when the chopper touched the ground, a smile crept up her lips. _He's here_ , she thought, and it was the best feeling in the world. She walked over to the chopper, greeting Jane and Jose, thanking them for what they'd done and making sure Jose was well taken care of. They both disappeared to reunite with their loved ones when Henry finally stepped out of the chopper. He was a vision, like always. His black T-shirt, tight against the muscles of his chest; his stained khaki pants hanging loosely around his waist. With his sunglasses on, and a huge smile on his face, he walked over to meet her, his arms already reaching for her.

"Dr. McCord" she said, holding out her hand for him, "it's good to have you back. Thank you for all that you've done".

Grinning, he shook her hand, before pulling her closer. "I'm going to kiss you now, Madam Secretary". Grinning too, she nodded, his lips softly touched hers, just brushing. He felt her suck in air and it was all the composure he could master. Wrapping his arms around her, he pressed his lips to her, his tongue moving to enter her mouth as he deepened the kiss. His kiss was gentle but possessing, claiming her as his, sucking every breath she had, every glimpse of fear she still carried. And being _his_ , there was nothing she needed more than to allow him to kiss her like that – like she will never belong to anyone else.

Pulling apart for air, he nuzzled his nose against hers, their eyes still closed as they stood circled in each other's arms. He kissed her again, feeling her heart racing against his chest as he wrapped his arms tight around her. She sucked her breath and he broke from her lips again, allowing her to regain her breathings. She opened her eyes then, and so did he. His fingers moved along her forehead and the side of her face, gently cherishing the feeling of her soft skin against his fingers. Tucking a stray curl behind her ear, he placed a kiss to her temple and then her nose, before pecking her lips once again.

"Are you ready to go?" his voice was so soft, yet so comforting in its presence. He was there, he really was.

Offering him her hand, he tangled their fingers together as they started walking towards the car, their eyes never leaving each other. He waited for her to get into the car, always the perfect gentleman that he was, holding out the door for her. Elizabeth was never one to believe in chivalry, that was until she met Henry. It was his second nature, and he insisted, even after all these years, to still treat her with so much respect. There was nothing she could do to resist this.

Henry slid inside and his arm moved instantly to wrap around her body. She settled with ease into his embrace, her head resting on his chest, where his heart was beating. Kissing her temple again, he took hold of her hand, their fingers intertwining.

The ride was quiet. Resting in his arms, they both look outside the window, the road ahead of them revealing green trees and the sun setting between them. Elizabeth smiled. If only for that moment, it felt like they went back in time, to when they were young and lived in a small apartment in Virginia. They had no care in the world; starting their life together, building their empire of two that will forever hold. It was then that she realized they were in Virginia, and they were not driving to their Georgetown home.

With a raised brow, she moved to meet his eyes. "Henry?"

"We have a date, remember? Burgers and Bowling".

"Henry, you just got home from a two days mission with no sleep. We should go home. You should rest".

Placing a soft kiss on her cheek, he tightened his grip around her. "I appreciate the worry, but I'm a man of my word. And I promised my girl a date. Besides, nothing beats spending time with you. Nothing".

She opened her mouth to argue, but he silenced her with a kiss, followed by so many more. Her arguments forgotten, she opened her lips to him, giving herself to the feeling of his lips dancing on hers, to the butterflies in her stomach, the constant reminder of how much she loved the man she chose to spend her life with, grateful that they still had _time_.

Settling back in his chair, he placed their plates of burgers in front of them, chuckling as she managed the huge bite of hers, traces of ketchup covering the corners of her mouth. He leaned forward and kissed each corner, his tongue licking the sauce before his lips moved to suck hers gently. "You had some…" he whispered and she laughed.

"So why did you let me win? I thought we agreed, last time we were here".

"Hey, you can never prove that I did. But in my defense, you're far too cute when you jump up and down after every victory, and I can't really resist that". He flashed her a smile as the words left his mouth and she just laughed, smacking his shoulder before taking another bite of her burger. When it came to games, Elizabeth was usually very competitive, and for good reason. She almost always won. Until it came to bowling. Even with the bumpers on, she still managed to somehow throw the ball in the wrong direction, and no matter how many times Henry explained the techniques, she never got the hang of it. So he just decided to let her win, that was his own victory anyway.

The rest of their dinner consisted of the story regarding Alison's trip, and how miserably Elizabeth handled it; it followed with them building up Henry's cover story about how his trip to San Diego went; it ended with a comfortable silence and an exchange of stares and smiles. Elizabeth was the one to finally stand up, pulling him to her. On tiptoes, she placed a kiss on his cheek, her arms moving to wrap around him. "I think it's time to call it the night. And I, for one, can't wait to sleep in your arms".

"So…" she asked as they settled in the back of the SUV. "Seeing Dr. Sherman was a good idea?"

Looking into her eyes, Henry smiled. "Yes. I'm sorry I let us drift apart. I'm sorry I drifted apart from you. I needed this reminder that even after all these years, and with all the things that happen in our lives, that we are still us, that nothing can tear us apart".

"Henry…"

"No, Elizabeth. Let me finish". She nodded, sitting up straight and drinking in every word of his. "It was so easy for the both of us to just bring work home. I realize that now. I realize that this was why things got out of control, why I found myself unable to deal with what happened to Dimitri. You are, before anything else, my wife. And I can't let any work either one of us have come between us. I can't let it cross the doors of our house, of our bedroom. Work has to stay at work. With all the secrets and the decisions. It will eat us alive if we let it back in, it will consume us and it will, slowly, make us forget that we were, not so long ago, just a husband and a wife. And I want us to make a promise to each other. To never let anything come between us".

Blinking back her tears, Elizabeth swallowed hard. She wanted more than anything to promise him that there will never be anymore secrets between them. But how could she, when a secret so big still threatened to consume them again. They still had to face the information she had, but before telling him anything she owed it to him, and also to herself, to get all the facts straight. Or most of them. So she couldn't promise, it would be a lie. And they never lied to each other, not regarding their own relationship.

Noticing her struggle, he squeezed her hand. "Elizabeth, I know you're still Secretary of State. I'm not asking you to tell me things that you can't. I know sometimes your work and mine will collide. And I have to find a way to be less invested personally in the whole spy thing. But this is work. I just want us to come home to each other and _talk_. Not about the secrets and the information we cannot share. But about _us_ , and what this means. I think it was easier at first to shut you out, because I couldn't tell you anything. And then you drifted apart as well, and I don't blame you. I pushed you so hard. It took a week of nightmares and just a glimpse of sleep for me to finally break apart and I took it all out on you. I don't want to do that. I don't want us to be in that place again. I want us to promise each other to never let it get so far. To never let things take over us so much that we need someone on the outside to remind us of why we fell in love. I need us to be just _us_ , whenever we can. Can we do that? Promise that to each other?"

She nodded, and a few tears slid down her cheeks. "Good" he smiled, wiping her tears. "Now let's make a promise to go out on a date together once a week. I know with your work, the chances of that actually happening are slim, but we have to at least try. We need some downtime together. Just us".

She smiled, nodding again. "There is nothing I want more than to spend time with you" she breathed on his lips. With his fingers tangled in hair, he pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly. The taste of her salty tears forced him to open his eyes, to break apart from her. He wanted to ask, but he soon realized that the thing that pained her was that she couldn't tell him. That, and the fact that she nearly lost him. Again. It would take a while before this fear will dissolve from her eyes.

"Remember what I promised?" he asked, his fingers running over her rings. "Whatever happens, we're together. Forever".

She smiled, wiping away her tears and sighing. "I love you".

Finally in their bed, they lied tangled in each other, his fingers ran up and down the bare skin of her arm. "You showed up" she suddenly said.

Wrapping his arms tighter around her, he waited for her to meet his eyes. "Always" he murmured.


End file.
